Why?

Why do I continue to get upset about things that I should be over by now?  It just takes me way too long to get over stuff.

The main thing I'm talking about is that I found out people I thought were my friends aren't.  I have posted about this in the past and for whatever reason it still bothers me when it is brought up again.  I had quite a few "friends" that were my co-workers before I had to stop working.  I cared about these people.  I thought they cared about me.  I did things for them, attended weddings, showers (baby and wedding), gave gifts, etc.  I found out shortly after I left that they really didn't give a shit about me.  Some of them I never heard from again.

For whatever reason, I am still surprised by their lack of heart.  I just don't know why.  I am doing everything I can to help raise money and get walkers for the upcoming umdf energy for life walk.  One of my good friends still works there.  She put up a flyer and is asking for donations.  However, no one is interested.  A couple of people have said they'll walk, but not donate.  I'm not holding my breath.

I just don't get it.  If someone I was friends with at one time went from being an active runner and nurse to having to use a wheelchair to get around, I would be there for them.  Bare minimum, I would at least try to help out with fundraising, etc.  Not a single soul helped with my fundraiser to help pay for my electric wheelchair.  And in that situation there was multiple things that people could do.  They could donate $5, donate baked goods, donate stuff to sell in the garage sale, or come help with the sale for an hour.  Even though these people that spent so much time with me, at work and outside of work, knew that I was trying to raise money for a freaking wheelchair, they didn't lift a finger.

You know, at this point in time, the problem is not that they continue to act like they could give a rats ass.  It's that I actually care.  Why in the hell must it still bother me?  Maybe because I worked so much that they were my family for 3+ years.  Then when I need them, nothing.  That could be it.  But then again, I quit working a year and a half ago.  Why does it still get to me?  My head tells me to move on; that I shouldn't give a shit anymore.  My head tells me that it's not worth getting upset over.  Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.  I don't know how to make my heart do what my head is telling it to.

Then again, my ex-coworkers aren't the only people who have proven to me how much they don't care.  There have been people from all areas of my life who have shown me just how much they really give a shit (not at all, in case you haven't guessed).  Friends and family are both in that list.

If anyone can tell me why I still give a shit, or how I can stop giving a shit about people who obviously don't, please let me know.

By the way... terribly sorry, not all of my posts look on the bright side of things.